quiet time for big & little kids
When my kids stopped napping, I suddenly had 12-15 hours of time to fill. I quickly realized that not only did my kids need a break at some point during the day but so did I. I also learned that my boys needed time separate from one another so I quickly began to implement a Quiet time.
This isn’t just great for younger kids either; there are immense benefits for older children as well.
In chapter 5 of “Hold on to Your Kids - Why Parents need to Matter more than Peers” by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate they address parents’ constant need to have our kids entertained, with friends, and in activities. They say “This urgent need to stay in touch interferes not only with family time but with the child’s studies, development of talent, and most certainly with the creative solitude that is so essential for maturation” (pg 66).
They go on to expound in chapter 9 how times of creative solitude is absolutely crucial for children’s development and mature. Now that I have a child fast approaching double digits, I’ve witnessed countless times how quiet time has benefitted him because he had the time and space to sort out his feelings and thoughts or dive deeper into a hobby or interest.
Since we have been doing this, I’ve seen nothing but positive outcomes. They often emerge from quiet time relaxed, recharged, and in a better mood than when it started. They’ve had time to regulate their bodies, enter into imaginative play, and just decompress from their day.
This does take a bit of planning so here’s some things we did to set everyone up for success:
We do not do screens during quiet time.
For our family, this is screen free independent play time. Some activities they gravitate towards are magna tiles, legos, books, and crafting. One thing I did buy years ago is an old fashioned CD player. My boys felt proud to be able to know when to turn the page when they heard the ding and it gave them a sense of independence before they could read. The library also has a lot of books on CDs we utilize. My older boys know how to read now, but we have a nice collection of books with CD’s for my toddler as he grows up. I realize that now there are Tonies and other similar products, but this has worked for us and has been a household favorite activity.
We do it at the same time every day.
For us right now, quiet time begins as soon as we complete homework after school. On the weekends, it falls at a natural break in the day, typically between activities or after lunch. It’s become such a part of our routine that the kids know to expect it.
Keep your plan firm, clear, and consistent.
We started with 20 minute increments and as they got older and became used to the rhythm of this, increased it to 1 hour. Adjust your expectations to the age of your child and work with them where they are at. Also, mentally prepare that this does not look perfect every day. There are days that my kids come out and ask me 10 different questions which can be frustrating. But they are learning valuable skills and we attempt to do better the next day. If you decide to only do it 5 days a week or 7, just keep it consistent.
Get into a rhythm and make it known to your kids just how important this time is for everyone and that it’s not budging.
Quiet time is really important for my personal well being each day, so I know first hand how much my kids also need this daily break in their day.
Have you started quiet time in your house? If so, what has or hasn’t worked for you?
On this Journey with you,
Rachel